God Provides

I realized today that I don't love surfing at El Porto. It's the most consistent spot in LA for the greater part of the year, but almost every session is harrowing in some way. Long paddle-out, powerful waves that often close out, standout sets that make your heart drop to your stomach -- it's rarely a nice, easy-going session at El Porto. But still, we keep returning, because sometimes this is the only surfable spot in Los Angeles.

Today, I went and it was on the smaller side, but no exception in force and paddle-out length. Because of the size, I was riding the Wavestorm, which is almost impossible to duck dive well. And so, whenever a giant wave swamped me, I did what no surfer should ever do and ditched the board to dive under the wave. That's right: I broke one of the cardinal rules of surfing. To justify myself, I always took a good look behind me to make sure my board wouldn't hit anyone. So there.

Taken after the 3-5 ft. session.

If karma is your king, however, I was served for my sins. On a particularly big wave that I couldn't paddle fast enough to beat, I stood on the board to get a better dive, let my board fly, and felt the unmistakable release of a snapped leash on the other side. Thankfully, it didn't get too far away from me before I could catch up, but this is always a bummer, especially in the middle of a surf session. I lasted another twenty minutes or so before jumping off a steep closeout, watching my board toss and turn in the whitewater on the way to shore, and calling it a day.

Anyway, all that long explanation (I love a good story with details!) was to get to the part where I tied my leash together, anticipating that I would forget I had snapped it for the next surf session. But it turns out I didn't need to, because I found a leash on the sidewalk! No one was around, and it was used, but in perfectly useable shape. A higher quality and better brand than the one I was using, this was a Godsend! Which is my point: lose a leash, gain a leash. God provides our needs, but sometimes our wants as well. This isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened to me, and won't be the last I hope. So the next time you find yourself lacking something, look around -- it might be lying on the sidewalk as a little gift from Heaven.

Read More

Listen

Kids aren't innate listeners, are they? I guess none of us are, which is why we read books and attend seminars on communication. Heck, I even have a Bachelor's degree in it...so I shouldn't be surprised when I tell my children something, and then a few moments later they have completely disregarded what I said.

What sparked this is that I told my kids I was going to the bathroom, so they should just play by themselves for a little. A couple minutes later I heard them wandering around the apartment calling, "Daddy...Daddy...where are you?" Did I not just tell them where I would be? I thought to myself. I let them go for a little while until they figured it out, and then reminded them of where I said I would be. They appeared ignorant, so they either totally weren't listening, or are incredibly forgetful; or maybe some combination of the two. Either way, it is frustrating when someone isn't paying attention to you, right? (My wife can attest to that.)

Maybe it was because I was reading the Bible while I was in the bathroom, and so I was feeling super spiritual, but a thought then occurred to me: This is probably what God feels like when he tells us stuff. (This has been a reoccurring theme in parenthood I am finding.) He gave us this whole book called the Bible with lots of answers to life's questions in it, but sometimes we are just lazy and ask him directly, hoping for a reply we didn't have to work for. That has to be frustrating to God, right? He must be thinking, I already told them that.

Often times Katie and I pray things like, "God, teach us how to be good parents," or "God, show us how to love others." They're good and noble prayers, but sometimes I think to myself, Didn't he already do that...in scripture? (Yes, I make dramatic pauses in my head, just for effect.) It's true though, right? There is a ton of insight on parenting and the whole book is about love -- so what are we missing?

I don't think we're veering too off track by praying these prayers, but I think maybe we're just being a little bit lazy. It's work to read the bible, memorize it, put it into practice. Sometimes it's easier to just let God do the work and teach us stuff directly, right? I can't be too harsh, because I'm not always a learner by reading, but rather by instruction or demonstration, so maybe this is just my natural learning impulse showing up. But it still beckons the self-analyzing question of are we listening to what God has already told us? Because he told us a lot, so we shouldn't ignore it.

Furthermore, God often speaks new insight through his word, or using illustrations from his word, so if we are missing this key element of communication with God, it's like trying to write letters to someone with a pencil on toilet paper -- only so much is going to go through (and most of it will be the pencil).

Read More

Firm Father or Daddy?

I've written before that messes are a big part of my life, as I spend much of my day cleaning up all sorts of toys, food, etc. It comes with the territory of kids. But lately I have been finding myself spending a lot of energy trying to make sure the kids don't make messes in the first place (so I don't have to clean them up, or enforce them cleaning up, which is another beast altogether). Sometimes I worry, however, that I am breeding OCD, type-A people that won't be comfortable with things out of order. This is especially true in our kitchen/dining area, where I have always been pretty adamant about keeping things clean.

Yesterday, Waverly was eating lunch and tried to switch chairs. If there is one child I am not worried about becoming OCD, it's definitely her -- messes are her comfort zone. Well, as she moved from the outside chair to the inside, she accidentally fell between the two and onto the floor. In the process, she flipped over her lunch plate, and rice, green beans, pears and tofu scramble went all over the place. Yeah...

Waverly's personality in a nutshell.

As she sat crying on the floor, my first impulse wasn't to console her, however, but the clean up the mess. People tell me I'm a good dad, but in moments like this, they may change their minds. My flaws go on display like the sun-dried tomatoes scattered all over the floor. I did make sure she was okay and cleaned her off, but honestly I was kind of mad at her. Waverly moves about very erratically most of the day, always moving, leaning on stuff, falling over -- I saw this as an extension of her inability to stay still (perhaps this is an unrealistic expectation?). I then sat her down and started cleaning up, while she cried next to me, clearly distraught.

It took a few minutes, but eventually I did stop cleaning and consoled her. I realized she needed more from me than a clean floor, and so I picked her up and checked on her emotional state. After she had calmed a little, I finished cleaning, but even then she was still upset. Finally, I sat her on my lap and ate lunch with her -- she needed me more than anything.

This balance between rearing competent, responsible individuals, and giving the grace needed for a toddler is kind of tricky. Having two children at different ages and maturities makes it even more difficult. Sometimes they need the firm father, but sometimes they just need Daddy. I guess I'm still learning where the lines are, but the most important thing, I would say, is to always remain sensitive to both internal and external needs, prioritizing and adjusting as needed.

And some folks think staying home with the kids is easy...

Read More

Determined

I used to be a pretty determined guy on a skateboard. I would try tricks for hours, endless attempts, over and over. Usually my friends would stand on, watching, often video taping the tries. As I've scanned those old clips, I've apologized for making them do that; but at the time, all I wanted was to land that trick. Even though I probably took it too far, I look back on that time as character-developing -- it's good to be persistent, and skateboarding was where I learned that.

Now, an older Rick who still skateboards has chilled out a bit. I've learned that beating my body and getting frustrated over a skateboard trick isn't as important as it used to be. It makes my sessions more relaxing, but sometimes I lament the fervor with which I used to skate. But sometimes this relaxed approach to boardsports goes a little too far. Sometimes you need to push yourself, and today was one such day.

Glove box fix for a broken toe.

I broke my toe about a month ago surfing, and so most of my activities have screeched to a halt. A week ago I tried for a session at Dockweiler and after four waves decided my toe was too injured to stay out. This week, my family took a trip down to Carlsbad, where I've never surfed. We're receiving a little swell that is supposed to dissipate as the week goes on, and so I wanted to paddle out now, even though it's only been a week since my last painful attempt. I wore booties this time, so at least I'm taking some precautions.

All of that is to say that I am rather out of shape at the moment, and for the first 15-20 minutes of my surf I struggled. I couldn't catch my breath, my arms felt heavy and my body wasn't reacting quickly in the cold water. On top of that, the waves were smallish and the water was rather choppy. As a result, I nearly paddled in after just a couple closeouts.

But as the thought passed through my head, something shifted. I was reminded of those days when I would stick to a trick for hours on end. Surfing is kind of my new skateboarding, and though progression has been slow, I am still learning new things. I asked myself if maybe this was the kind of session I need to stick with, learn how the waves were breaking, figure it out. And so I did. The waves broke fast, and I kept leaning too far back and falling -- okay, that's easily corrected. There were weird cross-currents and backwash hitting the sets -- that's a little harder to adjust for, but something to look after.

So I stuck it out for another half-hour or so, and you know what? It wasn't a great session. However, my 32 year-old body did push through that ever-increasing warm-up phase, and by the end of it, I felt pretty good. I did find myself a little more comfortable on a break that was as wild as a windy East Coast day, though I never quite caught a good wave. Still, I was proud of myself for sticking with it. It reminded me of those old days on the skateboard, never quitting.

However, on my last wave in, I caught my toe on a weird angle and reinjured it. I'm icing it now as I write this. So take that for what it is...a relentless approach doesn't come without setbacks I suppose, but I would argue it is worthwhile.

Read More

Soul Session

Point Dume never disappoints. Even on flat days, the cove is beautiful enough to captivate and inspire. I've only been three times, however, but each one was enjoyable, despite tiny surf the first two. My last surf session was a welcome turnaround, with head-high-plus sets. But sometimes good waves will show you things about yourself you'd rather not see, and on this last Dume day, I had one such session.

Usually when I surf I'm the guy on the outside, catching the leftovers. I'm not very competitive, and popular breaks tend to get crowded with people that will jump right in front of you to catch a wave, and then get mad at you for being in their way. I just don't like to deal with that, so I paddle where it looks half-decent and let the current take me where it will.

But during this last Point Dume session, something changed. I paddled right to the top of the lineup (This is usually highly offensive in the surf world, but Malibu is its own beast, and there usually isn't a traditional "lineup" per se), partly because of the way the cove is shaped, but also partly because I wanted to catch good waves and was feeling confident. I remained relatively humble, however, and let a few go by, watching for the best spot. After letting some go that I should have went for (pulling back because of fear on steep waves), I eventually caught an awesome, long right-hander, the kind that I call "cost of admission waves" -- if you don't catch anything else the rest of the day, that wave was worth the drive, the paddle out, the crowd, the wipeouts; it's just that good.

I took my time on the long paddle back and decided to camp out in the outside-to-middle of the cluster of surfers. The lulls between sets were becoming long, but eventually my wave came. The problem was, there was a guy right in front of me who could have also caught it. And then, in a sneaky move, I paddled to his inside and jumped up, stopping him cold. "Inside man gets the wave" is a well-known rule in surfing, but I had just forced myself into that position in a way that just didn't feel right.

Point Dume during Hurricane Marie, 2014

Fast-forward a few sets later, and I went for another wave. I think there was a guy in my peripheral that had already dropped in, but I took it anyway and just pumped my way forward as fast as I could to try and get out of his way. This is a total jerk move in my opinion, though it is fairly acceptable in Malibu. See for yourself -- just watch any Surfline camera on a Malibu break and I guarantee that the first wave you see will have 2-4 guys on it at a time. It's ridiculous and something I speak against often, but here I was, committing the same crime I condemned.

To be fair to myself, these waves were breaking in such a way that often 2-3 people could ride it without running into each other, but still, I went against my own principals to catch a wave. It was a good one, by the way, long and fun; but still, was it worth the cost of my integrity? And so, at the end of the session, I just felt kind of weird. Usually I have this huge high after a bunch of good waves; really, even one wave will keep me smiling for half the day. But after this surf, I just felt kind of...icky; like the way I surfed wasn't good for my soul. Maybe I'm just being overly self-critical, but I think that this is a good thing to be sensitive about -- the way you treat people, the habits you create and how both affect your inner-life, your soul.

Probably one of the reasons I am thinking this way is that I have been reading Judah Smith's How's Your Soul?, which explores how important our inner-self is to holistic health. The book has been great so far, and I highly recommend it, though I'm not finished yet. I guess the principals are working though, since I felt such a way after what otherwise was a huge session for me.

One of the waves I got, a mediocre one, was basically handed to me by this Australian guy. He was on the inside, but I was paddling anyway, just in case he didn't catch it. He was completely in position, but nodded to me before he took off, letting me have the wave. I jumped up and rode it a little -- it was a closeout I think. Later on, I saw him do the same thing for someone else. "You're a nice guy," I told him. "I would have probably just dropped in and tried to get ahead of him." He just smiled and said, "Oh."

Realizing how my own confession landed, I added, "Of course, that usually just makes me out to be a dick." He laughed, but it all has me asking myself: what kind of surfer do I want to be? The kind that paddles in front of people to get the most waves he can, vying for the "first" position (in the technical sense) with a sly shift, but essentially stealing waves? Or do I want to be the guy that goes without, letting others have the rides and picking up whatever I can when I am in the right spot? The latter is my usual M.O., and though I don't often come away with quite the quantity of rides, I usually have more fun. I sure don't want that to change.

When we got back I confessed my feelings to a friend, and added that I didn't understand how people can surf and act that way all the time and not feel bad about it. "If you do anything for long enough, you eventually become numb to your conscious," she replied. May you and I never get to this point. Always be sensitive to your soul and how your actions affect it, as well as other people. Because in the end, a few more rides, a little more money, having more control or getting there a little faster won't be worth it if your soul has been slowly dying along the way.

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? (Mark 8:36-37)

Read More