Poison Ivy

I wrote last week about the magic of climbing trees. Well, there is a dark side to every forest, a shadow to the sunshine, and in that tree I found it: poison ivy.

Just like climbing trees, how long has it been since you got poison ivy? As a kid, this is a usual danger amidst playing in the yard, like warts or ringworm; but as we grow up, unless heavy yard work or camping are frequent events in our lives, it is kind of rare that we get something like poison ivy. Typically when I get it, it's just an isolated rash, a few bumps and then it's gone. So when I saw it the other day, I didn't regard it very seriously. But this particular vine was something different, a mutation of green annoyance the likes of which I had never seen. I haphazardly finished the yard work and went inside, only to slowly realize the horrors of this wicked weed...

The rash showed up a couple days later, but a surf swell hit and so I went to the beach, hoping a dip in the ocean might bring some saline healing that I have experienced time and time again. The water didn't work though, and the rash only spread. That night I woke up at 2:30 in the morning, unable to sleep and fishing for a cure. I remembered we had Benadryl, so I lathered up. I also searched the internet for any remedy I could access at such an hour. Apple cider vinegar, baking soda and an oatmeal bath were what I came up with, and so I added to my chemical doctoring some natural cures. I didn't really want to draw a bath that late however, so I just made a cup of oatmeal and slapped it on my wrists.

I'm happy to report that the oatmeal worked well! I ended up using it for the next two days, which was a sticky mess every time, but helped me get through the days and nights. However, instead of going away or staying isolated, this poison ivy spread! And is still spreading as I write this! It keeps showing up on my arms, feet, chin, legs and face! So this is my current situation:

So why am I writing this? Partially to share some remedies that worked for me (calamine lotion has also helped a lot), but partially because I am in pain! Sharing my story helps me process I guess...I don't remember the last time I was this uncomfortable, and I feel like I can now sort of sympathize with folks suffering from any topical ailments. It reminds me of all those bible stories about lepers, and brings to mind the severity of what life would be like so isolated. Of course my problem is nothing like that, and will likely pass in a couple more days, but the thought is still there.

Anyway, I guess what I am writing is that this is terrible -- I wouldn't wish it on anyone -- the other side of the coin to the childlike fun of climbing trees; so maybe there is a reason we quit doing it all those years ago. Climbing still has to be worth it, and we must always stay in touch with our child-nature, but maybe next time I will be more careful.

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Go Climb a Tree!

When was the last time you climbed a good tree? If you're like me, it's probably been awhile. But remember how fun it was? How many memories do you have trying to get to the top, swinging on branches or maybe falling and breaking an arm? It's all part of childhood and trees must be one of the greatest gifts from God, for much more than just practical reasons like fruit and air filtration.

There is an awesome climbing tree in front of the house we rent, which was my grandfather's while I was growing up. Over the years, it has become quite overgrown with vines and bushes, so naturally I haven't climbed it in a while. Well, a few weeks ago my family came over to overhaul the yard, and before I knew it I was pulling down vines (many of which were grape vines...there goes my vineyard plans) and cutting bushes like an outback tour guide. But the tree is tall and the vines have been growing thick for years, so to get them all I had to climb up with an axe and clear away in the safest -- but still dangerous -- way I could!

As I climbed the branches, higher and higher, it occurred to me that it has been about twenty years since I climbed that tree. Memories hit me of climbing with my cousin, particularly the huge low branch pictured here:

The next generation of tree climbers!

And suddenly I remembered: climbing trees is awesome! It was so fun seeing how high I could go (I made it equal with the power lines); something about the element of danger mixed with nature is so magical. So I want to encourage you to go climb a tree! And take your kids with you! One day all these trees may be artificial/digital arborish air filtration systems, so we better do it while we can!

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Confidence

A friend at work a few years ago, in a moment of vulnerability, told me he didn't have much confidence in life, which consequently did not help with the difficult women in and around Los Angeles. Feeling that I myself have spent most of my life without much confidence, I felt a bit at a loss as to what I should say. I vowed to him that I would research the topic and get back to him -- this is what I found.

There are two things I feel pretty confident in: writing and music. I asked myself why and there are two reasons I've come up with: I have done them a lot, and people have told me I am good at them. I think experience most definitely plays a big part in confidence, but I think it's pertinent to focus on the latter reason -- affirmation.

Confidence is a social concept. Sure, you can be confident at woodworking or making Excel spreadsheets or other potentially solitary endeavors; but I think confidence in the most widely used sense has a connotation of performance. And in that way, a large part of confidence must be imparted from someone else.

I can play drums with strangers on stage and feel relatively comfortable because several people have told me I am a good drummer. I am happy to share this blog because many people have told me I am a good writer and it has benefitted them. I feel confident in these two tasks because others told me I am capable and competent in them, and somewhere along the line I started believing them.

So whose job is it to tell us we're good at things? Our family's? Friends'? Facebook or YouTube's? And is it okay to depend on others for that confidence?

Me in Minus the Standard, confident enough to play a flying-V. (2002)

I struggle with this because I have really taken hold of those two areas of my life with said confidence, knowing the reasons behind it. And yet, I know that my confidence and affirmation are supposed to come from God, not from people.
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Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)

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So why do I look to others to build my confidence, and if I find it there, is it okay to go along with it? I remember watching the Olympics a couple years ago and some high-divers did really well. In their after-interviews, they told the news that their coach continually reminded them that, no matter how they performed, their identity was in Christ. Consequently, they were able to perform quite well, the heavy weight of purpose in performance having been lifted before they dove. It was a powerful statement and certainly pertinent to our personal and professional lives.

I think finding confidence in others can be beneficial, but a more powerful and farther lasting source is in Christ. People are fleeting and some may affirm you while others, even those you respect, may do the opposite. However, a God who does not change and has given you a word, personally and/or through the bible, is a far more worthy confidant, and will take you through heftier trials as they come.

Katie and I find ourselves telling our girls this next bible verse a lot lately, and we're hoping it sticks, because we want them to know the truth in just how powerful our source of strength and confidence is:
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

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And here are a few more, just for encouragement:
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But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. (Jeremiah 17:7)

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. (Psalm 20:7)

The LORD's justice will dwell in the desert, his righteousness live in the fertile field. The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever. (Isaiah 32:16-17) 

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Diet Fail

Everyone wants to feed their kids well, right? But sometimes it just doesn't work out. The other day Katie had forgotten her lunch at home so we decided to surprise her with a Jimmy John's vegetarian sandwich. (Later I learned that she had in fact been craving such a sandwich, and was considering heading there for her lunch break, so here's to marital one-mindedness.) I then had an inclination to contact our good friend Jason to see if he wanted to have lunch with the girls and me. Jason is like an uncle to the girls, having lived right across the highway from us for the past year, and so they love to see him. I had picked up an extra sandwich for the girls, but as for me: I elected to indulge in some Taco Bell. Judge me if you want, but even when I feel terrible after, the taste makes it (almost) worth it every time...

Lunch was fine, but having consisted of half a sandwich and some snacks for the girls, I planned on something a little more nutritious for dinner -- maybe a few more vegetables than some lettuce straggles and a tomato slice. Well, the world did not comply, as we ended up running errands, getting home late and making the kids some leftover noodles and a vegan hot dog for dinner right before bed. And know that just because something is "vegan," doesn't make it good for you. "Soy protein concentrate" may not have antibiotics or a bunch of cholesterol, but what it does have, I cannot conclude. Still, hot dogs are easy and the kids love them, so every once in a while we buy the processed vegan garbage to live a more balanced life with the rest of the world.

We have had better days, diet-wise; and worse days. But what I want to write here is that sometimes plans don't work out. Sometimes you must force yourself to enjoy an on-the-go burrito and follow it up with veggie sticks and peanut butter crackers a few hours later, just to get by. The point is, have grace for yourself and your kids. My first inclination is usually guilt after such a day, but grace is a more powerful thing to anchor your emotions and decisions in, and you and your kids will be better in the long run for doing it.

Then go eat some carrot sticks.

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The Last Video Store

Since moving back to my hometown, I often drive by what used to be Hollywood Video on Highway 61. Right before that is the Blockbuster Video where I worked for over a year right after college. Immediately I am stricken with nostalgia, remembering the Friday nights where my family would often go out to eat, and then stop by the video store to get a game or a movie. I loved the unknown of the video store, not sure what they would have in stock, but hoping for something good. Hollywood Video in particular had an excellent kung fu selection, and was where I learned to love Jet Li's extensive repertoire, particularly this one:

I lament the loss of these stores, and even more so the experience my kids will never have! Downloading digital copies or streaming movies just isn't the same, and removes the element of the unknown that is so exciting and in-the-moment! Of course this is a concept that we will become more and more familiar with, as Amazon Prime, rampant free two-day shipping and telecommuting are making leaving our home almost unnecessary. Eventually the act of going out to buy or rent anything may disappear, but until then, I can hold on to the treasures of my past.

But then one glorious day it occurred to me that there is one more video store in town. And what is even better is that it's free! The public library!

Our libraries may not have the most recent releases (for that you'll have to use Red Box, though I often find that whenever I rent a Red Box movie, it shows up on Netflix about a month later anyway...), but they have an excellent selection of movies that are recent enough to stay relevant. How many movies are on your watch list, ones you never got around to seeing or maybe missed in theaters? I mean, going out to the movies costs so much these days that you can't see everything you want to (at least I can't). And so this final remaining haven of video is the answer to my lofty prayers. Free movies, up to seven at a time, and so many titles that I missed all these long years of being cheap. It's brought back to life movie-watching magic for our family.

We were lucky to find that Frozen. It's usually checked out!

Maybe you can tell from that picture that I am going alphabetically until I find something I wanted to watch (or think the family will enjoy -- Frozen the alphabetical exception in this set). I usually have only a few precious moments to decide, with kids running around the "quiet" library while I choose, and so quick decisions must be made. Still, these are films I wanted to catch and now have the opportunity to do so.

So I encourage you: take your kids to your local library and show them what it was like to pick movies when we were young. Save money you may have spent on Red Box and order a pizza instead for a family movie night. Now if only they had video games and VHS...

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