Showing posts from February, 2019

Relationally Lazy

I find myself criticizing parents who are distracted by their phones too much. It's easy for me to do, because I've never really put much stock in smart phones; and though I have one, it's a Windows Phone , so it's only a half-step up from a flip phone (which some of my friends still use). Type of technology aside, surely you've noticed the dad whose kids are hanging on his legs at the park, begging for attention while his face is buried in a cell phone. Or perhaps you've noticed the family at the restaurant, where everyone silently stares at devices until the food arrives? I find myself acutely aware of those folks, for better or worse, and think it's a real problem with our current society. But as every critic must do, I turn the magnifying glass back on myself as much as I am aware enough to, and lately I have seen the  distractions in my own life, particularly in pertaining to how I parent our kids. In doing so, and with more observation and conside


I'm drawn to the idea of well-knowing . When I surf with the Wavestorm , I catch a lot of waves and ride them for a while, mostly because I know that board so well. My Father-in-law has been living in Pennsylvania almost his entire life, and knows its streets and cities so well, he practically has a history lesson stored up around every corner. I love studying music, its theory and history, and am proud to know a lot about a band I love or how to play a song without thinking about it. But one of the topics I most enjoy knowing well, is my kids. When I became a stay-at-home dad for Ellie just a few months into her life, I didn't realize how much there was to know about an infant. But after seeing her through her first year, I was struck by what I understood about her, how well I could navigate her voices and sounds, and how I was able to anticipate and interpret her needs. To this day I am proud of how well I know my kids, and one of the best indicators of that I think, i


If I could describe most parents these days, it would be Distracted . I spend much of my day at parks , and a large majority of dads I see are on their phones the second their kids disappear down a slide, or even while they are pushing them on a swing. Reading articles, checking emails, messaging friends, or maybe even taking pictures to send to family so they feel included -- we are glued to these stupid little devices like they are essential for the survival of our race. Meanwhile, the children are practically crawling up their parents' legs, vying for their attention. (I single out dads, but moms certainly do it too -- I just see it more often in fathers. Whatever that means is another discussion.) The shameful thing about it all, however, is that, though I am using my little digital soapbox to beckon you all to pay more attention to your kids, I do it too . Lately I have been working on a Kickstarter to mix and master some of the music I finished recording last year. I ne

Discipling Our Children

Lately, I was doing dishes and thinking about how I would spend my time if I knew my days were severely limited, by a disease or cancer or something. (Kind of morbid, I know...) I have all these creative projects that I put so much time into, which I feel is an important part of my self-expression, as well as a great way to share ideas I think are important -- and I hope it all  lives beyond me . However, should I find myself in a terminal situation, I think I would set those things aside for the most part and spend more time with my wife and kids. And I know that those times, especially at home with the kids, would take on a new meaning. During that time, I would impart as much wisdom as I could manage to cram into their toddler-sized brains. Create memories and projects that they could look on later to remind them of those lessons. Teach them music . I would write notes to them that they could find later, telling them what and who their identities are found in, and also how