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New Thing - The Peasant Princess

So I usually write my monthly emails detailing all the notes I took from sermons that I've listened to throughout the month, along with a few other fun things. Today I want to start something new...

Since I usually listen to a sermon about every day, I'm going to try and make this a daily thing - reviewing and sharing notes on what I thought about the sermons/ lectures I listen to. We'll see what happens.


This is a sermon series that was recommended to me by a friend who is about to get married. It goes through the Song of Songs and explains its application to sex and marriage.

This is the first sermon I've ever listened to by Mark Driscoll, but I really enjoyed it. He's a pretty fundamental guy, teaching straight from the bible, which I really value. He is also tough on men, setting up high expectations for biblical masculinity and responsibility. This is a trait I think is really lacking in Christian culture, so I really appreciate Mark's work in this area. It was eye-opening and convicting to me when, after taking questions from the audience after each sermon, Mark said that most of the questions he received were men trying to get out of as much responsibility as they could. Wow...

Here are some notes I took from the whole series. The first part is just notes from various sermons (it's a 10-part series), the last two are categorized by the sermon specifically.
  • A biblical, successful relationship = two givers
    • Both must give themselves completely, which = freedom in the relationship
  • Healthy priorities:
    • Jesus at the center
    • Marriage
    • Kids
    • Whatever else...
  • 4 Horsemen of Divorce
    • Criticism
    • Contempt: communicates disgust
    • Defensiveness: excusing your own sin
    • Stone-waling: disengaging/ ignoring
  • Ask what are the "foxes" in your marriage? And what are your fears?
    • Fight them!
  • You have two options in marriage: happily married or unhappily married!
  • 3 warnings to married people:
    • Foxes: architecture of your life, other things that get in the way
    • Fears
    • Friends: who is speaking into your life?
  • Christian men should ask, "how can I get more responsibility" because Jesus took responsibility for our sin, though it wasn't his to take.
  • According to the bible, you're either selfish or a servant.
  • "My friend, my lover"
    • Friend = someone you serve/ who serves you outside the bedroom
    • Lover = someone you serve/ who serves you inside the bedroom
  • It all begins with serving/ giving
  • The only marriage that works is a servant with a servant (1 Corinthians 7)
  • Don't judge the scriptures by your predjudices, let scriptures judge your predjudices
  • Women should be visually generous, men should be verbally generous
  • When a husband is 100% solely devoted to his wife, she is free to love passionately
  • "We live in a world that lives by minutes, and marriage are built by decades."
    • The last day of your marriage is more important than the first day
  • If you walk away from God (like Solomon did), you are capable of anything
  • A marriage that doesn't know how to deal with sin won't last
    • You need a plan
    • We need to initiate reconciliation and apology
    • Look your spouse in the eyes when resolving conflict
    • Sin requires sacrifice; when you're sinned against in marriage, the sacrifice is either Jesus or your spouse.
    • Sin = thought, word, deed, motive; omission, comission
    • Don't repent for other people
    • Bitterness happens when it's personal
    • Forgiveness is not a one-time thing
  • 3 Questions:
    • Where is your sin? Especially sexual sin?
    • Where is your bitterness?
      • Anger/ violence = bitterness/ unforgiveness
    • What does repentance/ forgiveness look like for you?
  • Repentance:
    • Conviction
      • Conscious & Holy Spirit
    • Confession
      • Talk with others & God
      • Be careful who you talk to
      • Avoid worldly sorrow (bad feelings but no repentance)
      • Repentance is foundational to Christianity
      • Starts in the mind, with scripture
    • Changed mind
    • Changed heart
    • Changed behavior
    • Restitution (kind of like My Name is Earl)
    • Reconciliation (doesn't always happen if both parties aren't seeking it)
MARITAL SABBATH (still part of the series)
  • Husbands must touch their wife's heart, mind & soul before touching her body
    • Study scripture = mind/ soul
    • Pray = soul
    • Heart = forgive, grace, love
    • Tough = communication
      • Each day should be filled with communication
  • Be a student of your spouse & how he/she changes
    • Not books (only) but your spouse specifically!
    • Write down observations
  • Make plans!!
    • If all you do is spontaneous, you're not loving your spouse
    • Write down plans & execute, then review how it went to see if you're closer or not
    • Talk about expectations before trips/ dates/ etc.
  • Love is...
    • Personal
    • Protective
    • Powerful ("strong as death")
    • Possessive/ jealous (Like God - in a good way)
    • Passionate (the bible commands love -- you can't command a feeling)
    • Perseveres
    • Priceless (never bought, freely given)
  • Most marriages end at year 7
    • You finally become less selfish between years 9 and 14, so hold on until then!
  • You are the first and most important pastor to your child
  • Teaching is integrated into all of life
  • You are the example
  • Instruction precedes correction
  • Goal of parenting is to have kids with hearts that love Jesus
  • 6 tips for parenting daughters (for dads)
    • Pay attention; initiate talk and touch
    •  Don't expect that if your daughter doesn't talk, that she has nothing to say
    • Carve out time for her
    • Pray for her
    • Pray with her
    • Teach her the bible
    • Compliment her