"I Just Want You"

October 2, 2017

"I Just Want You"


Nap time is never a guaranteed thing at our house. My wife very cleverly started calling it "rest time," so our oldest could play by herself in her room while the youngest slept, also giving Katie some time to relax before the afternoon craziness that would inevitably come.

I have tried to keep rest time going during my tenure as the stay at home parent, but it is becoming increasingly difficult. Ellie started getting into an Amazon show called Creative Galaxy, which is a fun little cartoon that encourages kids to approach problems through creativity. At the end, it shows live action kids doing art projects, which always inspires Ellie to do the same. Suddenly, rest time has become "art project time," which involves a constant interruption for paper, scissors, crayons, glue, etc. I think of myself as a pretty creative guy, so I hate to stifle her own endeavors, but it is cutting into my own time, which is when I usually write or do house projects.



So this has been the little daily battle that has been going on while my youngest slumbers away peacefully. I usually try to play with Ellie a little and then shut the door for rest time, but she always retorts with, "But Daddy, I'm not tired." I assure her that it is important to be by yourself sometimes as a means to rest, but "introvert" is a word that means nothing to her right now, so this is typically futile. Eventually, I shut the door and she becomes sad, eventually playing quietly until she needs more paper to cut and a refill of tape.

Today was much the same, but when I told her it was rest time, she got very somber and hugged my leg. "What do you want, Ellie?" I asked. "Daddy, I just want you," she replied, and squeezed a little tighter. The words melted me, and I laid down to play for another 15-20 minutes before calling it rest time and coming to the computer to write this blog post.

These were powerful words coming from my three year-old, expressing what is likely one of the deepest desires of her little beating heart. But they struck me deeply as well, because I think that's exactly what God wants to hear from us; though if I'm honest, it's rarely what I want. Sure, I want to know God, and I know the more I get to know him, the more of him I will want. But there are so many things in this life that I also want, that overshadow his relationship far too often. It's the worst kind of eclipse -- one that happens every day -- the beauty of creative pursuits perverted as they take the place of the only thing that can truly fulfill, the only One who can.

It is no wonder that Jesus valued children so much, as through their words can we catch a glimpse of our own relationship with God. Even then, sometimes I find it difficult to believe that this could even be what God wants from us. But then I read verses like this, and my mind is changed, and my heart leans a little closer to the God who so strongly wants it to:
The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. (Jeremiah 31:3)  
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) 
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)   
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you (James 4:8a)  
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God... (1 Peter 3:18a) 
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)  
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1a) 
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. (John 15:12-14)  
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)  
For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (Hosea 6:6)  
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:16-17) 

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