Calling and Career

This might be just for me, but I am going to write it out in case it speaks to someone else also...

Sometimes when you read the Bible a verse will seem highlighted to you, as if it demands your focus. The other day I was reading in Romans and that was the case for this verse:

"Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God" (Romans 1:1)

And sometimes the verse that feels like it's being pointed out by the Holy Spirit doesn't really make a lot of sense! This is a simple introduction, but as I sat with it and let it ruminate, I think God was pointing out something. Notice Paul's title and self-description here: servant and apostle.

There are a lot of things Paul could have written: Jew-turned-Christ-Follower, Pharisee, tent maker. But he chose first off a servant of Christ Jesus, and then his calling as an apostle who is set apart to spread the gospel of God.

It got me thinking: what would my introduction be? In my teens it would have been Christian, skateboarder, player of guitar in a mediocre punk band. In college and afterwards it became filmmaker, writer, still a skateboarder. After that, add husband and father, surfer and skater-even-though-it-hurts-more-now. Writer morphed into musician and songwriter, later adding music producer. Of course, Christian would have stayed at the top of the list (or maybe something with less cultural baggage, like "follower of Jesus"), but I was convicted to think that much of my identity has been found in what I do -- and oftentimes aim to do, especially for a career -- rather than who I am.

Some high school identity photos

I am working on some blogs chronicling why music became such an important part of my path in life, and ultimately I would tell you that I feel called by God to make music. It's really the only thing I've felt "called" towards (outside of being a Christian, husband and father). And so about ten years ago, and somewhat inexplicably, I really leaned into writing songs and sharing them with others. 

Now, where I think we get this wrong (and by we, I mean me) is that "calling" gets interchanged with "career," and "career" gets confused with "purpose." But Paul mentions nothing of the sort. His career (Pharisee and Tent Maker) aren't even mentioned. In fact, when fulfilling his calling as an apostle, he turned down money!

Don't you know that those who serve in the temple get their food from the temple, and that those who serve at the altar share in what is offered on the altar? In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel. But I have not used any of these rights. And I am not writing this in the hope that you will do such things for me, for I would rather die than allow anyone to deprive me of this boast. For when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. What then is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights as a preacher of the gospel. (1 Corinthians 9:13-18)

Moreso, Paul doesn't start with his calling, but his core identity as a servant of Christ. So much of the work we do is meant to serve someone else: ourselves, our families, our bosses, a company. Is that serving of Christ so core to our being that it is enveloped into our identity? Or is it an add-on of sorts, something we do when we remember to?

To push it further: if my core is as a servant of Christ, obeying his commands (which demand our whole lives, really), and then specifically within that I may have a calling (and even this can evolve), should career should be left out of this entirely? Or at best, could it be just a happy overlap in the Venn diagram of our lives that may or may not happen, and certainly not a thing to be pursued above all else (which is what I've spent a lot of my life doing)? I'm not sure.

I really, really struggle with this and I am still wrestling with it even as I write these words (but isn't that the goodness of God in that He meets us where we are at, gently moving us closer and closer to Him?). I ask myself all the time why I have put so much effort and energy into trying to make what felt like callings a career. Sometimes those things do happen, but even if making music is not my career, does it change the fact that I've felt called into it? What if your calling is something that produces no money and seemingly has no "success" -- is it then not worth your time? I hope not.

Maybe all of this is leading towards a necessary divorce between calling and career, and trusting God enough to accept that hard truth. But if there is Anyone worth trusting with our lives, it's certainly the God who "is love," and loves us more than we know. 

And all from one easily overlooked verse in the Bible!