Let Go (Abandon) - A Song I Don't Like to Album Favorite

It's been about a year since Golden Coast Summertime was released to the public (folks who purchased my book, All Roads Lead to Dockweiler, were given an early release download of the album), my first full-length album. It was such a pleasure to produce these songs alongside the written material, and I've already been working on the next book/album combo!

I wanted to highlight a song from Golden Coast Summertime, as it has a little story to it. "Let Go (Abandon)" was written after an encounter of hearing God's voice while absent-mindedly driving on the 10-to-405 freeway interchange after work one evening. If I remember correctly, I was ruminating about writing novels (my main endeavor at the time) and, out of nowhere, felt like God said something along the lines of, "If you let that go, I'll show you who you really are." 

I regret to tell you that I immediately rejected the notion, as writing had been quite a bit of my identity up until that point. I had written several screenplays, was a paid blogger and then trying my hand at my first novel, finding quite a bit of enjoyment in prose. Music was just a thing I dabbled in at the time, but there were several cues in life that seemed to be leading me in that direction. Furthermore, I was a new father, and, as I would soon find out, being a stay-at-home dad would become the best job I had ever had. Maybe this was the identity God was leading me to?

I went home and penned this song, "Let Go," chronicling the word from God but also the wrestling with it. Here is an early demo of the song that I recorded in our garage:

The problem with "Let Go," however, is that I just didn't like the song! It marked a moment of supposed failure for me, as my knee-jerk reaction to a word from the Lord was to say, "No thanks. I know better." Furthermore, the whole process of letting go of what you thought your identity was is incredibly uncomfortable, though likely necessary for most of us at some point in our lives.

Several years later, after deciding that music was indeed a calling from God, I found myself playing a Good Friday service at our church, Ecclesia Hollywood. It was a somber evening of musical performances and various readings, and this song didn't really fit the mood (thankfully, I was early on in the show); still I felt like it was a good song for the night in its meaning. It was a song about wrestling, about not being sure what God was up to, but still trying to trust Him, even if you didn't want to. I sang it, stepped off stage and then probably didn't play the song for many years after that.

Fast-forward several years and "Let Go (Abandon)" found its way onto the track list for Golden Coast Summertime, as well as lyrically featured in All Roads Lead to Dockweiler. Though I hadn't really liked the song in years prior, every time I sat down to work on the track, I felt the urge to pray. It just felt like this song was weightier than the others, and had a significance that I wanted to treat with honor as I produced it.

As production ended, the track became one of my favorites, not just lyrically but also in the arrangement. (Who doesn't like a good foot-stomping folk song?) And so, I thought it deserved this blog post to highlight something you might have missed otherwise, or at least to give a little background to where track #8 came from!

Oftentimes writers and artists process the world through the art. It's messy and raw, without any clear conclusions. This feels like one of those songs. And so, I hope you can hear and feel that notion as you listen to "Let Go (Abandon)," maybe considering your own wrestlings with God and hopefully landing on the decision to trust, even when it is uncomfortable.